Cheney Spotted in Pneumatic Tube
Kansas City, Kansas
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary to area resident Michele Philips when she went to bed last Wednesday night. "I had just finished watching the news and putting the kids to bed, like always. I didn't expect to see anything unusual." What Michele didn't expect to see was Vice-President Dick Cheney standing over her while she slept. "I was sound asleep, but something must have woken me up, and there he was," Michele said with a shudder. "I thought I was having a nightmare."
Michele is just one of many across the country who have reported seeing Vice-President Dick Cheney in their bedrooms. Says Tim Marvin of Masontown, WV, " I couldn't believe it; I nudged my wife Charlene tryin' to wake her up. I said, `Charlene, wake up! That there's the Vice President, right there at the foot of our bed!' But when I looked back he had already run into the closet." Tim jumped out of bed to see where the ex-Secretary of Defense was running. He didn't catch up to him, but "I did hear this, like, uh -whoosh- sound. Strange."
Robert Stanlin of Van Nuys, CA was equally puzzled when Cheney fled his bedside. "I couldn't believe it. I mean, why was the Vice President in my bedroom?" Robert also heard the whoosh noise. "Kinda sounded like that thing at the bank, you know, that tube thing." Upon closer inspection, Robert admitted that there was some weird new flooring in his closet.
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