Kerry Stabs Edwards with a BallPoint Pen
10/5/2004
by: Kilgore Trout
Presidential Candidate John Kerry was restrained and arrested Tuesday night after allegedly stabbing John Edwards immediately following the Vice Presidential debate. "He just went berserk, I don't know what came over him" says Kerry campaign manager Mary Beth Cahill.
In a heavily anticipated debate, Edwards and Cheney sparred over foreign and domestic policy for 90 minutes. "Oh, it was brutal, I just couldn't watch the whole thing" says Wendy Sanders from Morgantown, WV. "The debate moderator was a complete moron, Cheney was evil and scary, and John Edwards, good Lord," After a brief pause, she continued, "Thank God he didn't get the nomination."
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